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Life // Lost

by Currents

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1.
Welcome to Hell. I am the one who is bound to chains, forced to live my fucking life as a victim in pain. There’s no escape. Get out of my head. I would rather be dead. Anxiety’s a fucking disease; it’s tormenting my every thought. There’s nothing left of me. I spend my life begging on my knees for someone to end it all and forget everything. I am the one who is bound to chains. Forced to live my fucking life as a victim in pain. Get out of my head. When will this pain ever end? Just put a gun to my head, cause I would rather be dead. Stop your worship. Stop fucking around. You will never ever ever make it out. Don't ever lose hopelessness. I got a heart that feels like it's a broken neck all the time. You stay on your side of this motherfucking line for all time.
2.
I’m digging my nails as hard as I can. Over and over again, ripping the pain from my skin. Will it ever end? A drone, no past, no future lost and alone, I can't even tell who I am anymore. To shut my eyes and to never be seen, what the fuck is happening to me? Between two entities, holding onto the edge, I don't know how much more I can take before I fall and descend. Whispering in my ear, “No one will miss you, just disappear.” I'm choking on my words, as my body grows numb. I’m trying to scream at the top of my lungs. Lay me six feet deep in eternal sleep. Eternal sleep. Wrapped in soil, soaked in tears, I am a product of fear. Trapped inside a mind I can't control, contorting mind body and soul. I'm trying to scream, but no one can hear the fears in my head that have brought me to tears. Will it ever end? I'm begging on my knees because I want to believe. But I’m too blind to see that it’s not God but the devil answering. His hands around my throat and I can't breathe, I cant fucking breathe. I'm screaming. Lay me six feet deep in eternal sleep.
3.
Heathen 03:48
Who are you to judge the person I am? When you look at yourself, there’s nothing of a man always on his knees. I see the lies embedded in sin. Cast down from the sky into a hell within foreign tongues. Forsaken me to hell for what we believe. We are the begotten for what we cannot see. We cannot see. This is what we deserve. We are the black sheep of the herd, preparing the purge. I see the lies embedded in sin. Cast down from the sky into a hell within foreign tongues. Forsaken me to hell. We are begotten, tormented, forgotten for what we believe. The church is a lie, but that doesn’t mean that what I believe is not the same as you perceive. You’re all cowered in fear, force fed lies. Heretic, where is your mind? Walk down the line. Face your demise. Do you see yourselves always on your knees? Blinded by a church who forces you to believe.
4.
Rose 04:06
I’m staring at the sun wondering where the time has gone. Cause I can honestly say that the way I feel is something more than I have ever felt before. I can never find the words to say how much I care, and never do enough to try and make you aware how much you really mean to me. Love’s a funny thing; it creeps behind and turns your head to a window. Becoming tongue-tied too nervous to look inside because you can’t believe your eyes. I don’t know where to turn, but like a child chasing the sun, I felt its rays kiss my skin. I’m not afraid of being hurt again. Holding her in my arms is where I’m meant to be. As everything fades away and it’s just her. See loves a funny thing, it traps you inside, it holds on tight, and never lets you go. Cause these past two years I have lived in fear. Been through hell and back and tried to disappear. But when I woke up, I saw you standing there and I was so starstruck. I’m hoping one day I’d get lost in your eyes. Let the whole world disappear. I hoped that one day I’d get lost in your eyes. Let the world fall apart at our feet. I’m staring at the sun.
5.
Life // Lost 03:13
The rain fell harder that night I drove home alone in July. I couldn't tell between the rain or the tears in my eyes. It was all a blur as I realized I saw your face, I saw your smile, I lost control of the wheel ‘til my knuckles bled. I’m calling out your name but no one heard me scream, “God please save me.” Cause I don’t want to fall, and I can’t take anymore. The tree around the bend was calling out my name, like branches to hands begging to take me away. But I ran and always looked back. I always looked back. I always fucking looked back. I often think of the night I drove home alone, swerving back and forth down the street from home. Some nights I wish I hit that tree so death could take me away and finally go to sleep.
6.
Stillborn 03:42
Who the fuck have you become? I don't know who you are anymore. Selfish, a liar, a fake, a person I hate who is bound to his fate. What has happened to my son? Please tell me, where has he gone? With the light taken straight from his eyes, this path you have chosen is one I despise. You're not the son that I've raised you to be. You're pathetic and weak. The world isn't yours, it owes you nothing for what you've endured. Can't you see? You're not the son she wants you to be. You're pathetic and weak. Why can't you see? Why the fuck can't you see? You're breaking your mothers heart. Breaking her heart, you're breaking her heart. Can't you see you are breaking her fucking heart? If you saw the world through my eyes, you'd feel the constant pain. Ignorance is bliss so keep assuming I have changed. Open your fucking eyes. I am proud of who I am. Why can't you understand? I hate who you have become. You are not my son. What makes you think I'd believe in you? Everything you do is far from the truth. But I am wrong. I often wonder from the edge of my bed to the depths of my head, “Would I rather be dead?” Making friends with cement, wondering where it went wrong. Fuck everything you said. Fuck everything that you said. Can't you see I am breaking your heart for being alone? I'm breaking your heart for being my own. I'm breaking your heart for being strong. I'm breaking your heart, for being a son. Bastard, please tell me where have you gone. With the light taken straight from his eyes, this path you have chosen is one I despise. It's cliché to say that I hope and pray that there will be a day you'll come back and say you are proud of the son I became.
7.
Euphoria 03:45
I can’t explain what all of this means to me. The sound, the feel as it vibrates everything. I’m getting lost in my mind swinging back and forth to something I can’t describe. It consumes my life and I won’t let it go. It is everything between you and me. There’s nothing that can take it away, as I close my eyes and begin to dream. Letting the melody take me away, it’s going to take me away. I lose myself to the sound of every note lifting me from the ground. I am free, and no one can take that away from me. I can feel it. It just takes me away. Something I live for, I let it dwell in me. I am free. It is all I see between you and me It takes me away and sweeps me off my feet. To a place where I know, that I am home. I am free.
8.
Derelict 03:37
Heretic. Everyday was exactly the same, I was alone in my thoughts as everyone pushed me away. I cried out for help, but no one cared at all. It’s not for attention; it’s not for a trend. Can someone tell me: will it ever end? I can’t take anymore it’s too hard to fucking ignore. Four years a coward but nothing has changed. Give me the chance and I would spit in your fucking face. Who the fuck do you think you are? Making me believe I’m not the same as you want me to be. I can’t take anymore. I’m trying to escape forever, but my sanity is running short. Someone save me cause I can’t break free. Four years trapped inside these walls with no hope at all. There’s no hope at all. There’s no hope. As the years have gone by four years a coward I have realized. You’re all fucking pathetic. Take off your crowns and just fucking admit it. Can’t you see where I am now? Four years have passed and I’m living a dream. But you’re still trapped in your cliques, embedded in bullshit. I can’t fucking breathe. Stop talking about what I really wanted to fucking achieve. Mother fuck what you think. How do I compete with opinions? A gat to your teeth, cock back, and I squeeze, bitch. How do i succeed? Must suck being me. Sucks being you tied up to a chair right now about to die with your heart full of greed. Just listen to me. Yo, pull up bitch. You got advice to give when your life is shit? You ain't wise living a lie. Envious mind, justify why in life you quit. You’re miscarriage, misfire, frustrated man with heart full of fire, picking on the people with a dream to aspire. Lights out, bitch. I’mma shine, be quiet.

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Currents - LIFE // LOST - 2015

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released February 1, 2015

Band: Currents
www.facebook.com/currentsct

Recorded, Mixed & Mastered by Randy Pasquarella
www.facebook.com/PasquarellaRecordings

CD art and thumbnail art designed by Mike Hnath
www.facebook.com/hnathdesigns

Original Artwork by Mason Starkey
www.facebook.com/MStarkeyDesign

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Currents Newtown, Connecticut

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